Dealing with failure
How do we deal with failure, or is there a method to dealing with failure? There are many methods to deal with failure, that can either be constructive or destructive. Constructive dealing with failure includes embracing your emotions; that is thinking about one’s emotion and not on the feeling of failure. Also recognizing unhealthy attempts to reduce the pain, like the feeling of running away or hurting someone helps when dealing with failure. And practicing healthy coping activities such as speaking to others about one is feeling is another constructive way to dealing with failure. There are many reasons why someone might feel like a failure, for example, having a sense of hopelessness, anxiety, depression, lack of supportive relationships, low self-esteem, and having a poor self-concept. God does not set us up for failure. The tests that he sets for us are to further build us and make us stronger and not to destroy us. Isaiah says that the tests God sets for us is to purify us like silver (Is66:10). Job tells us that God’s tests are to make us pure like gold (Jb23:10). James tells us that the testing of our faith comes to help us grow and mature in the Lord (Jm1:3-4).
Philemon 1:10-14
I beseech thee for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my bonds:
11 Which in time past was to thee unprofitable, but now profitable to thee and to me:
12 Whom I have sent again: thou therefore receive him, that is, mine own bowels:
13 Whom I would have retained with me, that in thy stead he might have ministered unto me in the bonds of the gospel:
14 But without thy mind would I do nothing; that thy benefit should not be as it were of necessity, but willingly.
Philemon had a servant; Onesimus, who became unprofitable in his service and dealt with it by running away. His coping skills with his failure was destructive. He hurt Philemon and Apphia with a sinful activity, because he was a slave, it is possible that he intentionally disobeyed or neglected to do what he was supposed to do. He became a type of the prodigal son who left his home not knowing what would be of him (Lk15:12-13). He landed in jail with the apostle Paul who brought him back to his faith and became profitable. He had gotten lost but now was found, God had brought Onesimus back to him. This is what the father of the prodigal son said when his son came back to him, that he had been lost but now was found (Lk15:24). Paul now was going to restore Onesimus to his family of faith, so he reminds Philemon of his love for Christ and for the saints. Philemon’s love and faith became published throughout the churches especially in the church of Colossians (Phi1:5-7). Restoring one who is dealing with failure requires love and faith.
Isaiahs 66:10
10 Rejoice ye with Jerusalem, and be glad with her, all ye that love her: rejoice for joy with her, all ye that mourn for her:
Job 23:10
10 But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.
James 1:3-4
3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
Luke 15:12-13
12 And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living. 13 And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.
Luke 15:24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.
Luke 10:42
5 Hearing of thy love and faith, which thou hast toward the Lord Jesus, and toward all saints; 6 That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus.7 For we have great joy and consolation in thy love, because the bowels of the saints are refreshed by thee, brother.